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I Think I Should Drop Him…. |
I Think I Might Marry Him…. |
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1. I have to really fight to keep my focus on God and His Kingdom. I am really distracted away from the things of God. (Matt. 6:33) |
1. This person would never stand in the way of my walk with God. He pushes me to love God more and my walk with God is naturally growing (not being forced) |
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2. I am compromising my purity. This may go so far as having sex, but it can also be everything leading up to that. Can I stand before God in ABSOLUTE purity of heart, body, mind and emotion? Not even a hint…. (Eph. 5:3) |
2. Although it may not be easy to be pure, it is something that we are diligently fighting for. I am not compromising even a HINT of my purity with this person. He is guarding my virginity and my purity in all areas of my life. |
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3. My parents do not support our relationship. I am sneaking around behind their backs and/or trying to force my family to bless our relationship. I am disregarding my parent’s wisdom and trust. What I want is more important than obeying my parents. (Eph. 6:2) |
3. I have my parent’s blessing. They have spent time with us as a couple. We spend a lot of time together with my family and my parents approve of him. I do not have to lie or sneak around them. I can share all parts of our relationship with them. I honor them through this relationship. |
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4. I have lost a lot of friends because of my boyfriend. They say that I spend too much time with him and never do anything with them anymore. They do not feel comfortable around my boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn’t understand my need for female friendships. He is not willing to “share” me with anyone else. |
4. I can still maintain healthy relationships with my friends. It’s not an either/or situation. We can all hang out together, and my friends really enjoy my boyfriend. They don’t see any major “red flags” in him. They do not feel left out. |
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5. He is not a Christ-follower. He does not have a personal, growing, maturing walk with God. There is no fruit in his life. (Hebrews 10:24; 2 Cor. 6:14) |
5. There is no doubt whatsoever that He is walking with God in a personal relationship. He spurs me on towards godliness. He challenges me to love God more. |
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6. We do not have similar dreams for our future. Ex: he doesn’t want kids and has no desire to go to the mission field one day. However I long for a big family and feel like God is calling me to missions. (2 Cor. 6:14) |
6. We want the same things out of life. Our dreams line up and compliment each other’s. He genuinely wants to see me fulfill God’s calling on your life. |
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7. We don’t really know how to communicate. We are always fighting, bickering, and manipulating each other. We can’t seem to get it together in the area of communication. (Eph. 5: 29-32) |
7. Although we’re always learning how to communicate better, we have learned how to make decisions together without fighting. When we do fight, we fight fair and we are slow to anger, quick to listen and quick to forgive. |
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8. He doesn’t respect his family—especially his parents. He is quick to mouth off and does not honor them with his actions and words. (Remember—the way he interacts with his family is almost exactly how he will treat you). Is he affectionate with his parents? Does he serve them? Does he diligently work to build their trust? (Eph. 6:2) |
8. He loves his family and it shows. He respects his parents and siblings. He has a servant heart in the home. He obeys quickly and completely. He is affectionate towards them & always strives to build (and keep) their trust. You thoroughly respect the way he treats his family. |
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9. I don’t really feel like I can be myself around him. I feel like I have to act a certain way, or enjoy certain things, or be prettier, or…whatever. I feel like I can never be good enough for him. I also feel like I have to keep certain aspects of my personality hidden from him b/c he may not like me. Or I have to be happy (funny, beautiful, etc…) all the time. I can never let him see the other sides of me. (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4) |
9. It’s easy to be myself around him. I don’t have to hide things or act a certain way to please him. He thinks I’m beautiful no matter what b/c he knows the true me. I don’t have to be something that I’m not. And I don’t have to hide when I’m sad or struggling with something. I can just breathe b/c I can be me! He knows that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made and that I have been made in the image of God—and that’s what makes me beautiful & special! |
- He is:
Not patient, not kind, envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered, quick to keep a record of my wrongs, delighted by evil, not rejoicing in truth, not protective, not trusting, not hopeful, not willing to persevere when things get hard.
He (and his love for me) keeps failing me time and time again. (1 Cor. 13: 4-8) |
10. He is:
patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, not going to keep a record of my wrongs, not delighted by evil, rejoicing in truth, protective, trusting, hopeful, absolutely willing to persevere when things get hard.
He (and his love for me) never fails. |
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11. He is not serving in the church and the community. This is not a priority to him. (Romans 12:3-8) |
11. He is actively serving in the church and the community. This is a major priority in his life. |
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12. I don’t think he prays for me. (1 Thess. 5:17) |
12. I know he prays for me. |